as i start my blogging practice, i’ve been recommended to “allow myself to do it and to set an intention.” i interpret this as giving myself the space, time & energy to blog. so what’s that mean to me? making sure i’m resting and eating well, so that i have enough energy to do this alongside all my other responsibilities and hobbies. it also means that i have to protect time for this sort of practice (kinda like yoga), which means having some sort of schedule or daily flow to begin with.
so, i’ll start today’s post with a sincere intention (and i’ll make it a quote to try out this formatting block):
i dedicate this space to be safe and thoughtful, this time to be spend creatively and to express myself, and lastly, this energy, nourished by rest and nutrition, to start the process of granting my every childhood wish
okay, that went well. i’m happy with my declaration to the universe, most importantly, to myself!
today, i’d like to focus on two tasks that have brought me an abundance of joy and reflection. these tasks are a testament to a new community and lifestyle that i am embracing. cheers to the legend of dragoon (LoD) fandom! i’m learning how easy it can be to savour a childhood fancy without guilt or shame. it sounds dramatic, i know, but growing up, my interests were always obscure to those around me and frowned upon, if not totally forbidden. however, i’ll happily redirect my thoughts back to the two tasks that i’d like to focus on today:
- LoD Wiki Project
- ShMIDIs Project
oh boy, am i excited to share what’s going on with these two tasks?! first off, this is my first time being a fan — of anything, really! i have such endearing memories of playing LoD as a child and it really taught me a lot. alongside a few other RPGs at the time, i learned a lot about characters, plots, story telling and world building. but, there’s something special about LoD, and i think it has a lot to do with its inaccessibility. maybe, that’s not the right word, but there was a lot more that i wanted to know about the game, most especially about the lore, but there was just no way for me to access any further information. a moment of gratitude for my uncle, who was an avid gamer and introduced us to this world of story, music and art. he always worked really hard to help me access games that i thought i lost forever (again, dramatic, but i was a kid). thank you, uncle, for enjoying the little things in life and showing me how important it is to do the same.
i serendipitously entered an online world of almost 7000 other fans in the form of a discord server and at first, i was totally overwhelmed. just by being present, these fans were providing me with a sort of permissive power by role modelling how easy and meaningful it was to be honest, open and expressive about a common interest. for some, i would even go so far as to call it a lifelong passion. so, when i told my husband that i was going to start blogging and reflect on my journey as an LoD fan, he smiled and cheered me on, alluding to the times when i made an LoD geocities website as a young girl.
well, that catapulted me right back into childhood! i remember a time when the internet was quite new to your average person, where internet connection and active phone connectivity were mutually exclusive, and we had just gotten a vibrant apple computer. what was the first thing i ever did on a computer? i opened up a text editing program and i wrote out the description of LoD from the back of the game case. it went something like, “a peaceful beginning. the legend was born 10,000 years ago.” i must have been in grade 1 or 2 at the time, probably 6 or 7 years old, and i was excited to finally use a keyboard! my brother was always first priority to play on the playstation 1, so if the computer was not being used by my older sister, then little me finally had the chance to practice typing as i tried to read and understand the description of the game.
fast forward to grade 3 or 4, at a time when our game discs were scratched (what? we were children :c we didn’t know how to take care of things) and i could no longer access the beautiful story from the game, i made an important decision! for the next few years, i tried my best to create a geocities website about legend of dragoon. i didn’t make it far at all, but it kept me busy and it kept me thinking about the game and that was more than enough for me.
returning to the present, i am picking up where i left off! no longer distracted by society’s prescription for pursuing education, getting a prestigious job, and buying a home and a car, i resign from my long leave of absence from living a passionate life. i return now to my childhood delights and it’s all thanks to this buzzing community of fans for creating and taking up this space with their reminiscence, ideas and ongoing projects. and did i mention the humour? it’s like being part of a thousand inside jokes and i do love that a lot.
did i need to reflect on everything before starting my work today? well, yes, i’m going to call it a warm up, like we do in my pole dancing classes. i’m getting ready for stretching and conditioning before working on some actual spins and moves. i’m loving how everything i love comes together and connects seamlessly.
so, what do i wanna work on today? well, i think this post is much too long now and each project will need its own post. see you there!